Fear, Perception, and Pay: The Hidden Barriers Women Face in Negotiation

For the last two decades, the gender pay gap has hovered at or just below 20%. Despite forward movement in many areas, women still aren't earning the same as men. There are a few common explanations for this phenomenon: women don’t ask for enough money to start out with, they fear backlash if they negotiate, and they worry about how they will be perceived if they do try to negotiate.

But are these explanations accurate or are they simply perceptions? Fortunately, we don’t have to guess. Studies on women’s negotiation performance have provided some insightful findings that challenge the nuances of these traditional beliefs and highlight new dynamics.

Women are negotiating more

Contrary to the longstanding notion that women don’t negotiate as often as men, recent research shows that professional women now report negotiating their salaries more frequently than men. Unfortunately, they experience higher rates of rejection when they do negotiate. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to receive better pay without asking for it. 

A Berkeley Haas study found that more women than men graduated from top MBA programs between 2015 and 2019. This isn’t ground-breaking, as women have outpaced men in educational attainment since the 1980s.

What is interesting is that after completing their MBAs, 54% of women negotiate their salaries more often than men. This compounds the pay gap issue. While women are expected to negotiate away the pay gap, ultimately, they have less success because they are turned down.

As a result, while women with MBAs earn 88% of what men make after finishing their MBA, they make only 63% of what men make 10 years later. Unfortunately, these numbers support existing stereotypes and makes fighting them even more difficult.

Women still fear backlash

Anticipating backlash remains a significant barrier to negotiating for women. This fear causes them to make quicker concessions during negotiations because they’re concerned about negative perceptions or retaliation.

A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology breaks this phenomenon down brilliantly. Researchers asked men and women to approach a salary negotiation against an initial offer of $40,000. Women and men began with similar salary aspirations and expectations, but the women didn’t end up actually asking for the amount they wanted.

The women believed they would be subject to retaliation from the hiring manager if they asked for more than $43,250. Men were far less concerned, believing that they wouldn’t receive any backlash unless they asked for nearly $51,000.

Because of this fear, the average counteroffer from women was about $42,000, while men’s average counteroffer was $48,441. Women often struggle to advocate for themselves because they believe being too assertive will hurt their chances of being hired in the first place.

This same study found that women were more bold than men when negotiating on behalf of someone else. Clearly, women aren’t afraid of bargaining, just as long as it’s not for themselves.

Women worry about perception and judgment

Women also worry about perception and judgment. On the whole, there’s a fear of judgment and negative perception women shoulder more than men. Research suggests women are often afraid of being seen as "pushy" or "unlikeable" and may fear negative career consequences if they attempt to negotiate their salaries. Additional research from Glassdoor shows that women have often been reluctant to negotiate their salaries because of this. 

Sadly, women of color are further affected by the double whammy of both race and gender biases. Together, these compound their disadvantages when negotiating. While women have made strides in this area, society has been slow to respond leaving women with the responsibility of closing the pay gap.  

Women can lean into listening

More and more analysis of negotiation strategies and techniques points to the value of synergetic bargaining. There is a growing recognition that listening and building a collaborative atmosphere are more productive negotiation strategies than a dominating approach.

Women have an innate advantage in these areas. Research has shown women to be more relationship-driven than men. They also prioritize emotional connection and relational intimacy, both of which are useful at the bargaining table. This trend toward collaborative negotiation styles is a positive step for promoting negotiations that are more inclusive and less combative.

Onward

Many challenges remain in the pursuit of balancing the scales, but when you look at the data, it becomes clear that women have been riding a wave of empowerment by educating themselves and becoming entrepreneurs. They are finding a place at the table, even though they hear “no” more often than not. 

Facing rejection isn’t easy, so I’m encouraged that, despite these challenges, more women are negotiating. Their perseverance despite these “no’s” gives me hope for the future. I’m optimistic that the more women negotiate, the more it will be expected and normalized, just as it is for men.